245.6 lbs
45inch waist
36.3 BMI
Where do I begin? Well, as the numbers above suggest, ANYWHERE, just as long as I get moving. However, the journey of losing oneself to food and obesity is never as simple as moving. I wish it was than it could explain how I lost myself in this wall of fat for so many years.
I was an overweight teenager. I fed myself in order to avoid dating girls. I was gay, so the wall of fat kept people from questioning my dating status. The food helped to fill a void.
When I turned 22, I lost over 100lbs. I went from 256 to 156 in less than six months. I had just come out of the closet and found this new sense of self. My emptiness had seemed to fade. I wanted to find love, so I lost the weight in anticipation of the love that would await me on the other side of this fat wall.
However, what I found was more emptiness and heart break. See, I realized that men were merely dating me because I had a six pack, huge chest, small waist, and a big butt. Well, I still have the big butt. Trust me, it isn’t going anywhere. Those men could care less about the real me. I was dismayed and completely turned off.
In the year 2000, in the span of three months, I lost my grandmother and my first love. I was completely lost and emotionally alone. Sure, I had great friends who surrounded me. However, my heart ached. I had lost love twice in such a small time frame.
Therefore, I turned back to the one thing that not only filled me up, but never left. I never felt empty. It never told me that I was not enough. It never judged me. It was my date in high school. It was my best friend. It was my first love. I needed to feel good, so I quietly turned back to it.
Over the course of 7 years, I gained most of my weight back. Sure, I attempted to diet and exercise and was mildly successful. However, the weight would find its way back on me. All it took was stress in my life to send me back to my first love. Plus, being muscular and attractive did not fulfill the promise of finding me love, so why would I trust it now. Why would I want to go back to being objectified? Why would I want to go back to being placed into the dating pool to be judged and manipulated?
Being fat, keeps away all of these issues. It is also keeping me in the emotional state of a thirteen year old boy. Thus, I have decided to take this journey to heal this thirteen year old boy. This is not about finding love. This is about finding and healing this little boy who is trapped in this wall of fat.
I am choosing to share my story with you. I will share my weekly ups and downs. What I am feeling? What I am eating? What type of exercises that I am doing? I will share my emotions. This is a huge step for me. I have never been so naked in my life. For all of those that know me, being naked is one of my biggest fears. Being naked physically and emotionally will open me up to judgment and feelings of inadequacy.
However at 32, I am choosing to honor myself as a man. I am also honoring and healing this 13 year old boy by dealing with my naked self, so that I can not just find the love that I deserve, but be the love that I deserve.
Monday, December 3, 2007
Thursday, October 4, 2007
Why Did I Get Married?
I was watching Oprah yesterday. SHOCKING! A gay man watching Oprah; Anyway, I originally only tuned in to watch Janet Jackson; another HUGE SHOCKER!!! However, she was promoting the new Tyler Perry movie, “Why Did I Get Married?”
In the beginning, Oprah had a panel of married couples espousing their beliefs on why they got married. The most interesting story came from an older couple. They had been married before. The woman stated that the marriage was the easiest she had ever had. The man stated that he had to die a little in order to be married. Since he had issues with selfishness, he had to die in order to raise her up. Well, sign me up.
In my naïve mind, I always assumed that marriage was about accepting the person just as they are. Therefore, if you marry a selfish, neurotic individual then you must love them as is. You can not force a change upon them until they are ready to change. If you do not love the person as is, than is that really love? Or are you just buying a mark down vehicle with the hopes of fixing it up?
Please do not do me any favors. I do not want someone who is buying down to fix me up. Take my neurotic behind as I am. I can be a mess to date, but you must love my mess. I will love yours. Sure, it may get on my nerve sometimes, but I cannot love only the best part of a person. I must love the good, the bad, and the ugly.
I have watched three of my friends have the same outcome in marriage. Each of them married for different reasons, but each of them became separated and two of them divorced. As I studied their marriages, each of them had this issue.
My first friend got married out of obligation. The woman had his child. In the midst of their marriage, she tried to change him. It nearly drove him insane. In fact, after their divorce, he is truly only a quarter of the man that he once was.
My other friend got married to a very successful woman. He was not as successful and much younger. She married him with the expectation that he would become a great man. Well, he went through a phase of trying to find himself. He went from a good job to no job. He tried his hand at music and law school. However, none of them panned out. After a few years, she was done. However, when she married him, she knew he was younger and not as successful. If you marry someone out of hope than you are setting yourself up for a divorce.
My last friend got married out of fear. Do I believe that he loves her? Sure. However, his initial intent was to be married. He didn’t pay attention to the fact that this woman was damaged. She has a lot of issues to conquer on her own time. Alas, when the fog faded, he realized how many issues were present. He hoped that he could help her. She didn’t want the help. I told him that if you cannot love her as she is right now then step away from her.
You cannot marry someone out of hope. I hope they change. I hope this works. I hope they will not cheat even though he cheated before. I hope they are good with money. I hope they will be successful. I hope they will not look like their mother or father. You have got to love them just as they are today.
I am not an expert on marriage. However, I am an expert on truth. The truth is we live in a fast food world. We expect everything to be done our way. However, people are not fast food. You cannot expect them to be done your way. If you go into a marriage with this attitude, you will not be married long. I have the tangible evidence of my friends’ relationships to prove it.
If I have to die a little bit to make the marriage work for another person then shoot me. Marriage should be about compromise but not your demise.
If you are married or considering marriage, ask yourself these two significant questions, why did I get married or why am I getting married? And If they never change, will I still love them?
In the beginning, Oprah had a panel of married couples espousing their beliefs on why they got married. The most interesting story came from an older couple. They had been married before. The woman stated that the marriage was the easiest she had ever had. The man stated that he had to die a little in order to be married. Since he had issues with selfishness, he had to die in order to raise her up. Well, sign me up.
In my naïve mind, I always assumed that marriage was about accepting the person just as they are. Therefore, if you marry a selfish, neurotic individual then you must love them as is. You can not force a change upon them until they are ready to change. If you do not love the person as is, than is that really love? Or are you just buying a mark down vehicle with the hopes of fixing it up?
Please do not do me any favors. I do not want someone who is buying down to fix me up. Take my neurotic behind as I am. I can be a mess to date, but you must love my mess. I will love yours. Sure, it may get on my nerve sometimes, but I cannot love only the best part of a person. I must love the good, the bad, and the ugly.
I have watched three of my friends have the same outcome in marriage. Each of them married for different reasons, but each of them became separated and two of them divorced. As I studied their marriages, each of them had this issue.
My first friend got married out of obligation. The woman had his child. In the midst of their marriage, she tried to change him. It nearly drove him insane. In fact, after their divorce, he is truly only a quarter of the man that he once was.
My other friend got married to a very successful woman. He was not as successful and much younger. She married him with the expectation that he would become a great man. Well, he went through a phase of trying to find himself. He went from a good job to no job. He tried his hand at music and law school. However, none of them panned out. After a few years, she was done. However, when she married him, she knew he was younger and not as successful. If you marry someone out of hope than you are setting yourself up for a divorce.
My last friend got married out of fear. Do I believe that he loves her? Sure. However, his initial intent was to be married. He didn’t pay attention to the fact that this woman was damaged. She has a lot of issues to conquer on her own time. Alas, when the fog faded, he realized how many issues were present. He hoped that he could help her. She didn’t want the help. I told him that if you cannot love her as she is right now then step away from her.
You cannot marry someone out of hope. I hope they change. I hope this works. I hope they will not cheat even though he cheated before. I hope they are good with money. I hope they will be successful. I hope they will not look like their mother or father. You have got to love them just as they are today.
I am not an expert on marriage. However, I am an expert on truth. The truth is we live in a fast food world. We expect everything to be done our way. However, people are not fast food. You cannot expect them to be done your way. If you go into a marriage with this attitude, you will not be married long. I have the tangible evidence of my friends’ relationships to prove it.
If I have to die a little bit to make the marriage work for another person then shoot me. Marriage should be about compromise but not your demise.
If you are married or considering marriage, ask yourself these two significant questions, why did I get married or why am I getting married? And If they never change, will I still love them?
Monday, October 1, 2007
Clueless
Can anyone tell me how to date? I am clueless. It has been so long. I haven’t had an “official” date in almost two years. Most of my encounters with men have not been considered dates.
I have met some decent men, but alas, I turned them to crushes. I would look at them from afar, but never tell them how I felt. I had a huge crush on my barber. I don’t know if he is gay or straight; however, I never had the guts to ask him.
I had another crush on this other incredible guy. I find him very intriguing. He is not even my normal type. However, I just want to get to know him. I know he is gay, but again I said nothing. I still speak to him, but have never asked him out. I do not know what is wrong with me.
Maybe, I just don’t know how to ask? I really never had too. I have always had men approach me. Not to sound conceited, but I tend to like aggressive men. I have gone after men before, but my choices sucked. The men that have approached me were always my type. However, I am getting older. I am no longer the young, tight, cute boy, I once was. I will have to start approaching men.
How do you do that? I never know what to say. “Hi, put it in.” I just don’t want to continue on this path alone. I would like to share this experience with someone. I can no longer rely on the faux relationship I have with my best friend. He has always been my go to boyfriend and in some ways I am his go to girlfriend. However, we have to break up, so I can find a real one.
I wouldn’t even know where to start to meet men. I don’t like the club scene. The internet dating sites are just hook up spots. I’ll have to start doing a new thing. I will figure out where my interest lie and find groups or events that cater to them. This would be an excellent start.
How about doing something completely out of my nature and join a sports team? Yeah, I can see it now. In the first few seconds the ball is tossed at me, I’ll run screaming in the other direction. However, there will be plenty of men chasing me down.
I will make this my challenge in the month of October. I will find an activity or event with people and get a date. I will report back on my experience next month. Wish me luck. I am truly clueless.
I have met some decent men, but alas, I turned them to crushes. I would look at them from afar, but never tell them how I felt. I had a huge crush on my barber. I don’t know if he is gay or straight; however, I never had the guts to ask him.
I had another crush on this other incredible guy. I find him very intriguing. He is not even my normal type. However, I just want to get to know him. I know he is gay, but again I said nothing. I still speak to him, but have never asked him out. I do not know what is wrong with me.
Maybe, I just don’t know how to ask? I really never had too. I have always had men approach me. Not to sound conceited, but I tend to like aggressive men. I have gone after men before, but my choices sucked. The men that have approached me were always my type. However, I am getting older. I am no longer the young, tight, cute boy, I once was. I will have to start approaching men.
How do you do that? I never know what to say. “Hi, put it in.” I just don’t want to continue on this path alone. I would like to share this experience with someone. I can no longer rely on the faux relationship I have with my best friend. He has always been my go to boyfriend and in some ways I am his go to girlfriend. However, we have to break up, so I can find a real one.
I wouldn’t even know where to start to meet men. I don’t like the club scene. The internet dating sites are just hook up spots. I’ll have to start doing a new thing. I will figure out where my interest lie and find groups or events that cater to them. This would be an excellent start.
How about doing something completely out of my nature and join a sports team? Yeah, I can see it now. In the first few seconds the ball is tossed at me, I’ll run screaming in the other direction. However, there will be plenty of men chasing me down.
I will make this my challenge in the month of October. I will find an activity or event with people and get a date. I will report back on my experience next month. Wish me luck. I am truly clueless.
Friday, September 28, 2007
How Did I Get Here?
Lord, how did I get here? How did I become a 31 year old working at a bank? This was not supposed to be my life. I do not recall being in grade school and stating that my life’s dream was to process loans at a bank. Yes, I do. It was about the time that I also said that I wanted to be poor, single and overweight to go along with the bank job. I had always envisioned my self soaring high above all of life’s can not’s. I was supposed to be a multi-platinum recoding artist by the age of twenty-five. I was supposed to have directed at least three movies by the age of twenty-five. Hell, by the time I reached the ripe “old” age of thirty, I was supposed to be ready to settle down, raise a family, and enjoy the fruits of my labor. Isn’t it funny how life doesn’t work out that way sometimes? OR maybe I chose to live in my head instead of live on this earth. Maybe I chose this life.
People keep saying that thirty is the new twenty. Please the only people that are saying that are thirty year olds who have fucked up their twenties so badly they want an opportunity to do it again; or better yet have an excuse to fuck up in their thirties. Thirty is Thirty, sorry to be the one to burst your bubble. It is a weird time in my life. I am not exactly young, but I am not exactly middle age. As I lay underneath these covers, trying to smother myself and retain my youthful glow, I am lost in emotions as Lisa Lisa would say. If you don’t know who Lisa Lisa is there is a good chance that you are not in your thirties and are still considered young. You BITCH. However, if you are trying to pass for being young, you will need to deny any knowledge of this great eighties pop group.
As I lay in bed close to my thirty second birthday, the mere thought that I chose to be a Document Prep Specialist makes me laugh. I have to laugh because if I don’t I will jump out of this window. Can you imagine realizing that you chose all of the meantime jobs and all of the meantime relationships? You chose to be overweight. You chose to have a bad relationship with your parents. You chose to close yourself off to the world. You chose not to live up to your true potential. You chose fear instead of courage and faith. This thought shook me to the very core of my spirit.
As I lay in my bed, I cried rivers of tears. Not sad tears, but tears of joy. I finally realized who was causing my misery. I could now confront the culprit and deal with my life. God gave me the best gift, freewill. This word causes so much terror in the hearts of many who want to sadly rely on this myth that God intended for this to occur in my life. As if God is some puppet master holding strings above your head, pulling you into the wrong directions. God doesn’t desire to lead you in the wrong direction. However, in God’s Infinite Wisdom, He saw fit to give us freewill. He will allow you to make any and all of your own choices, good or not so good. Now, if you happen to learn something from the not so good choices than great. However, freewill can be a curse.
Freewill basically means that I cannot try to rationalize why my life is going in the wrong directions. I do not need too. All I need to do is look at the choices that I have made to yield this undesirable result. If I choose to put my hands on a hot stove than I choose to be burned; I chose the pain that comes along with placing my hand on the hot stove. However, had I chosen to ask someone what would happen if I placed my hand on this stove, I would have received the same answer, “It will burn your hand, FOOL!” This would have avoided the pain.
If I choose to eat a half a gallon of ice cream instead of participating in any physical activity than I choose to be two hundred and twenty nine pounds at five feet nine inches. Trust me when I tell you it is not easy being an overweight thirty one year old gay man. The gift is the reality that I can make new choices. BUT, what were wrong with my old choices? Why did I make them?
I could lie and say that I do not know why. Alas, I do know why. I made choices out of fear. I was afraid. I have always been afraid of something. We all have been at some point, but fear of life is so much more detrimental than fear of a man with a knife and a hockey mask. Again, if you do not know this reference, you are entirely too young. However, I am glad that you are reading this to avoid some of my pitfalls.
Please remember that life offers you a new moment to make choices whether good or bad. Isn’t that fantastic? You can change your own life at any moment. It just depends on the choices you make. How you choose to handle any situation that life tosses your way? It is so simple but so hard to grasp for many including me.
People keep saying that thirty is the new twenty. Please the only people that are saying that are thirty year olds who have fucked up their twenties so badly they want an opportunity to do it again; or better yet have an excuse to fuck up in their thirties. Thirty is Thirty, sorry to be the one to burst your bubble. It is a weird time in my life. I am not exactly young, but I am not exactly middle age. As I lay underneath these covers, trying to smother myself and retain my youthful glow, I am lost in emotions as Lisa Lisa would say. If you don’t know who Lisa Lisa is there is a good chance that you are not in your thirties and are still considered young. You BITCH. However, if you are trying to pass for being young, you will need to deny any knowledge of this great eighties pop group.
As I lay in bed close to my thirty second birthday, the mere thought that I chose to be a Document Prep Specialist makes me laugh. I have to laugh because if I don’t I will jump out of this window. Can you imagine realizing that you chose all of the meantime jobs and all of the meantime relationships? You chose to be overweight. You chose to have a bad relationship with your parents. You chose to close yourself off to the world. You chose not to live up to your true potential. You chose fear instead of courage and faith. This thought shook me to the very core of my spirit.
As I lay in my bed, I cried rivers of tears. Not sad tears, but tears of joy. I finally realized who was causing my misery. I could now confront the culprit and deal with my life. God gave me the best gift, freewill. This word causes so much terror in the hearts of many who want to sadly rely on this myth that God intended for this to occur in my life. As if God is some puppet master holding strings above your head, pulling you into the wrong directions. God doesn’t desire to lead you in the wrong direction. However, in God’s Infinite Wisdom, He saw fit to give us freewill. He will allow you to make any and all of your own choices, good or not so good. Now, if you happen to learn something from the not so good choices than great. However, freewill can be a curse.
Freewill basically means that I cannot try to rationalize why my life is going in the wrong directions. I do not need too. All I need to do is look at the choices that I have made to yield this undesirable result. If I choose to put my hands on a hot stove than I choose to be burned; I chose the pain that comes along with placing my hand on the hot stove. However, had I chosen to ask someone what would happen if I placed my hand on this stove, I would have received the same answer, “It will burn your hand, FOOL!” This would have avoided the pain.
If I choose to eat a half a gallon of ice cream instead of participating in any physical activity than I choose to be two hundred and twenty nine pounds at five feet nine inches. Trust me when I tell you it is not easy being an overweight thirty one year old gay man. The gift is the reality that I can make new choices. BUT, what were wrong with my old choices? Why did I make them?
I could lie and say that I do not know why. Alas, I do know why. I made choices out of fear. I was afraid. I have always been afraid of something. We all have been at some point, but fear of life is so much more detrimental than fear of a man with a knife and a hockey mask. Again, if you do not know this reference, you are entirely too young. However, I am glad that you are reading this to avoid some of my pitfalls.
Please remember that life offers you a new moment to make choices whether good or bad. Isn’t that fantastic? You can change your own life at any moment. It just depends on the choices you make. How you choose to handle any situation that life tosses your way? It is so simple but so hard to grasp for many including me.
Thursday, September 27, 2007
Every Girl Needs A Gay Boyfriend Series: Be Careful What You Ask For
Does this sound like you? I am so sick of men. I wish I could find a man who was not so weak. I am so angry at them. When will I ever find a man who will possess all of these qualities on my list? Why should I have to change to get a man? There are no good men left in this world. Well, ladies, be careful what you ask for.
I am constantly amazed by the barrage of questions that I receive regarding women and their quest for a man. Not just any man, but the “right” man. I challenge these women to take a strong look at their attitudes. This may explain why they do not have the “right” man.
I have always been told that positive thoughts were the key to attaining anything in this life. If you believe that there are no strong men, good men, financially stable men, well-endowed men, and or culturally aware men than you will receive just what you request. You will either receive the complete opposite of what you say you want or you will receive no interest from men at all.
I love you all, so I can be harsh. Many times you are your worst enemy. Ladies, you say one thing, but truly mean another. You say you want a good man, but you speak negatively about them. Therefore, you have your guard up so high that not even the “right” man will be able to penetrate it.
You are damaged. I understand it. I have been damaged. Show me one person over 30 not damaged and I will marry you myself. Many of us walk around feeling as if love has done us wrong. We reflect on the betrayal, the hurt, the disillusionment of anticipated monogamy from our past companions. We grow very untrusting of love and of men.
This damage becomes your true subconscious voice. It dictates what you desire in a man. You either desire to be with a man that will damage you or you are so damaged that you scare men away with the impenetrable wall that you have spun around yourself. It screams, “I am bitter, jaded, and hateful of all men, but please date me.”
What man in their right mind would date you with this type of attitude? A good man is only a positive outlook away. If you began to think of all the positive things about men, about your previous relationships, and about your life in general; you will open the flood gates of dating possibilities.
If you are extremely damaged, you are not ready for a mate anyway. You may have a lot of issues that you need to release before the “right” man comes into your life. You may need to go speak with a counselor.
In the meantime, thank God that He has seen fit to keep you single so that you can learn to forgive and love yourself. Trust me, once you release the pain and relinquish this notion of a “right” man than you will become a light for which all men would love to bask.
Now Stop Hating and get to dating!
I am constantly amazed by the barrage of questions that I receive regarding women and their quest for a man. Not just any man, but the “right” man. I challenge these women to take a strong look at their attitudes. This may explain why they do not have the “right” man.
I have always been told that positive thoughts were the key to attaining anything in this life. If you believe that there are no strong men, good men, financially stable men, well-endowed men, and or culturally aware men than you will receive just what you request. You will either receive the complete opposite of what you say you want or you will receive no interest from men at all.
I love you all, so I can be harsh. Many times you are your worst enemy. Ladies, you say one thing, but truly mean another. You say you want a good man, but you speak negatively about them. Therefore, you have your guard up so high that not even the “right” man will be able to penetrate it.
You are damaged. I understand it. I have been damaged. Show me one person over 30 not damaged and I will marry you myself. Many of us walk around feeling as if love has done us wrong. We reflect on the betrayal, the hurt, the disillusionment of anticipated monogamy from our past companions. We grow very untrusting of love and of men.
This damage becomes your true subconscious voice. It dictates what you desire in a man. You either desire to be with a man that will damage you or you are so damaged that you scare men away with the impenetrable wall that you have spun around yourself. It screams, “I am bitter, jaded, and hateful of all men, but please date me.”
What man in their right mind would date you with this type of attitude? A good man is only a positive outlook away. If you began to think of all the positive things about men, about your previous relationships, and about your life in general; you will open the flood gates of dating possibilities.
If you are extremely damaged, you are not ready for a mate anyway. You may have a lot of issues that you need to release before the “right” man comes into your life. You may need to go speak with a counselor.
In the meantime, thank God that He has seen fit to keep you single so that you can learn to forgive and love yourself. Trust me, once you release the pain and relinquish this notion of a “right” man than you will become a light for which all men would love to bask.
Now Stop Hating and get to dating!
Tuesday, September 25, 2007
Killing Me Softly
I have been committing a slow suicide for years. However, I have really felt it over the past few weeks. I have been sick, tired, irritable, slow, mildly depressed, and non productive. I have been stuffing my face with a shovel of sugar. Every day I would eat either a bag of cookies, or a pint of ice cream, and on my slow day, a large bag of Doritos. This would be my entire meal for the day.
I challenged myself over the past weekend to eat only live food i.e., fruit, vegetables, and soy products. I consumed no dairy, meats, or sugar for the entire weekend. I was amazed. By Sunday I felt a flood gate of energy. I woke up happy. I did not struggle to fall asleep. All of the aches in my joints began to disappear.
By Monday morning, I was ready for the world. I woke up enthusiastic and full of energy. I came into the office with no irritability and ready to work. After completing an eight hour work day, I was still ready to take on the world. What does this mean?
I have been slowly killing myself for years. However at the age of 31, my body cannot handle it anymore. I am pretty sure that it never could. If I continued on my destructive diet, I would check out of here before I am 45.
I watched a very interesting documentary on CNN focusing on our Killer Diets. We go into a grocery store and mindlessly consume processed foods. We do not realize that we are ingesting over three pounds of sugar a week. We are also consuming an enormous amount of Hydrogenated oils also known as Trans fat. These items can appear in everything from cereal, soda (diet and regular), cookies, ice cream, chips, donuts, an even some of our healthy alternatives.
Now add on our love of fried foods dripping in sauces filled with creams, sugar, and oils and there is no wonder that we are checking out earlier these days. There are children under 15 having heart attacks and contracting Type II Diabetes.
Food is a hard thing for people to tackle. It has become entertainment and a comfort for many in America. We consume it as much as we consume music and film. However, music and film have not been known to cause cancer, diabetes, strokes, heart attacks, obesity, and in some cases mild depression.
We must stop treating food as entertainment. We must learn to prepare our food at home. We must learn to purchase more live foods, especially organic live foods. Try to include more of these items and limit the dead foods in your diet i.e. meat and dairy. Also, please limit the amount of sugar in your diet. For example on your plate have 3oz to 4oz of meat, a portion of brown rice, and leave the remaining half of your plate open to fruits and vegetables.
In our fast paced society, I am sure this is difficult. However, you have two choices, you can either limit the amount of sugar and dead foods in your diet or you can become a dead animal. It is your choice.
Now chew on that!
I challenged myself over the past weekend to eat only live food i.e., fruit, vegetables, and soy products. I consumed no dairy, meats, or sugar for the entire weekend. I was amazed. By Sunday I felt a flood gate of energy. I woke up happy. I did not struggle to fall asleep. All of the aches in my joints began to disappear.
By Monday morning, I was ready for the world. I woke up enthusiastic and full of energy. I came into the office with no irritability and ready to work. After completing an eight hour work day, I was still ready to take on the world. What does this mean?
I have been slowly killing myself for years. However at the age of 31, my body cannot handle it anymore. I am pretty sure that it never could. If I continued on my destructive diet, I would check out of here before I am 45.
I watched a very interesting documentary on CNN focusing on our Killer Diets. We go into a grocery store and mindlessly consume processed foods. We do not realize that we are ingesting over three pounds of sugar a week. We are also consuming an enormous amount of Hydrogenated oils also known as Trans fat. These items can appear in everything from cereal, soda (diet and regular), cookies, ice cream, chips, donuts, an even some of our healthy alternatives.
Now add on our love of fried foods dripping in sauces filled with creams, sugar, and oils and there is no wonder that we are checking out earlier these days. There are children under 15 having heart attacks and contracting Type II Diabetes.
Food is a hard thing for people to tackle. It has become entertainment and a comfort for many in America. We consume it as much as we consume music and film. However, music and film have not been known to cause cancer, diabetes, strokes, heart attacks, obesity, and in some cases mild depression.
We must stop treating food as entertainment. We must learn to prepare our food at home. We must learn to purchase more live foods, especially organic live foods. Try to include more of these items and limit the dead foods in your diet i.e. meat and dairy. Also, please limit the amount of sugar in your diet. For example on your plate have 3oz to 4oz of meat, a portion of brown rice, and leave the remaining half of your plate open to fruits and vegetables.
In our fast paced society, I am sure this is difficult. However, you have two choices, you can either limit the amount of sugar and dead foods in your diet or you can become a dead animal. It is your choice.
Now chew on that!
Friday, September 21, 2007
I Am Bankrupt
I am about to put my financial business in the street. However, I am at the end of my financial rope. When does the cycle of barely living paycheck to paycheck end? I have been living this way since I graduated from college ten years ago. I assumed that somewhere along the way things would magically get better. Well kids, I learned that magic does exist. I can magically make money disappear.
After I graduated from college, I got a job making about $24,000.00 per year. I was living with my grandmother. I paid $100.00 a month in rent. I had no car note. I only owed on my student loans. At the age of 21, I was not planning to pay that back right away. Of course, I would be rich by the time I was 25 and my life would financially improve. Therefore, I pissed away the opportunity to save. I had recently lost over 100 pounds. Therefore, I decided to buy a lot of clothes so I could look good in my new body. I was going to let the children have it in the clubs. I was living well for about three years.
My grandmother became ill in 1999 and transitioned this life in 2000. I was 24 years old and forced to become financially responsible. I was a financial mess. I was now paying rent, utilities, cable, phone bill, and a car note. However, you would never know it at the rate I was spending. I was still living as if my grandmother was paying the bulk of the bills. I was never educated to deal with this financial responsibility.
Even after seven years and moving to Atlanta which is less expensive then Chicago; I am still drowning in my own financial cesspool. I had to take a good hard look at my financial education. I realized that I had been in the special class all of my life.
I was ill prepared to budget. I never grew up in a household that even mentioned the word budget. My mother and aunt just spent. I did not know that they were destroying their credit or living above their means. I just remember seeing money being spent, so of course this is how I have lived.
I have tried to budget and failed miserably. Every time I attempt a budget and save something occurs. This is the issue with living check to check. One financial crisis can put you on the street. You spend your life working to stay in debt versus working to acquire wealth. Maybe this is the lesson. You are not meant to work to acquire wealth. I had never heard of someone working day to day and getting rich until I watched the Millionaire Inside on CNBC.
There was a story of a couple. The husband was a janitor and the wife was a school teacher. After 30 years of saving and investing, they acquired a million dollars to retire. I was astounded that a school teacher and a janitor could live day to day, save, and acquire wealth. It made me realize that it did not matter the amount of money you made, but what you did with it.
Hi, my name is Russell and I am clueless about money. I am honest about it. I am now seeking help with retooling my financial mindset. I study The Suze Orman Show. I am going to get my credit report, take a look at all of my bills, and study my spending habits for the month of October to see where I am failing financially.
This will not be easy, but being bankrupt is no picnic either.
After I graduated from college, I got a job making about $24,000.00 per year. I was living with my grandmother. I paid $100.00 a month in rent. I had no car note. I only owed on my student loans. At the age of 21, I was not planning to pay that back right away. Of course, I would be rich by the time I was 25 and my life would financially improve. Therefore, I pissed away the opportunity to save. I had recently lost over 100 pounds. Therefore, I decided to buy a lot of clothes so I could look good in my new body. I was going to let the children have it in the clubs. I was living well for about three years.
My grandmother became ill in 1999 and transitioned this life in 2000. I was 24 years old and forced to become financially responsible. I was a financial mess. I was now paying rent, utilities, cable, phone bill, and a car note. However, you would never know it at the rate I was spending. I was still living as if my grandmother was paying the bulk of the bills. I was never educated to deal with this financial responsibility.
Even after seven years and moving to Atlanta which is less expensive then Chicago; I am still drowning in my own financial cesspool. I had to take a good hard look at my financial education. I realized that I had been in the special class all of my life.
I was ill prepared to budget. I never grew up in a household that even mentioned the word budget. My mother and aunt just spent. I did not know that they were destroying their credit or living above their means. I just remember seeing money being spent, so of course this is how I have lived.
I have tried to budget and failed miserably. Every time I attempt a budget and save something occurs. This is the issue with living check to check. One financial crisis can put you on the street. You spend your life working to stay in debt versus working to acquire wealth. Maybe this is the lesson. You are not meant to work to acquire wealth. I had never heard of someone working day to day and getting rich until I watched the Millionaire Inside on CNBC.
There was a story of a couple. The husband was a janitor and the wife was a school teacher. After 30 years of saving and investing, they acquired a million dollars to retire. I was astounded that a school teacher and a janitor could live day to day, save, and acquire wealth. It made me realize that it did not matter the amount of money you made, but what you did with it.
Hi, my name is Russell and I am clueless about money. I am honest about it. I am now seeking help with retooling my financial mindset. I study The Suze Orman Show. I am going to get my credit report, take a look at all of my bills, and study my spending habits for the month of October to see where I am failing financially.
This will not be easy, but being bankrupt is no picnic either.
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